Wanting & Desires – Is ‘Creating Your Reality’ Bringing You Inner Peace?

Wanting & Desires - Is Creating Your Reality Bringing You Inner Peace?

Many modern teachers tell us to focus on what we want; to focus on our desires, but what if it is not the object of desire that we want, but the relief from the agitation inside brought on by the wanting. Is this not what we truly desire?

Living an unconventional life right now, where I have few material possessions, the desire and the wanting for more than I have can be great, but I now see that the receiving is only ever going to be a temporary experience. For example, I would love to take a vacation this year, but I am currently unable to. I love to travel and see the world, swim in the sea and really relax into a new environment. Watching others fly off can feel incredibly painful to the ego and so the wanting increases and yes, a great feeling of agitation builds up in me. Yet if I were in the present moment, fully, right now, I would not be thinking of future wants, I would be content, satisfied with where I am now.

When I think of my past unfulfilled desires, when the moment has passed, I relax, let go and accept my circumstances or my current life experience. When I think about fulfilled desires, the excitement and relief I felt when they arrived was not from the manifestation of the desire, but from the relief from the wanting that I mostly felt.

Is The Law of Attraction A Good Thing?

Are ‘Law of Attraction’ and ‘Create Your Reality’ teachings bringing us to a deeper experience of inner peace, or merely fuelling an increased sense of wanting?

I feel the latter. Yes, it’s true that we can’t stop a natural desire that bubbles up from the present moment, but the focus on the future manifesting of desires I no longer feel is healthy to the mind, body or spirit.

When something you want is not coming, has not arrived, and causes you much agitation inside, ask yourself:


Is it the ‘thing’ I want, or is it the relief from the agitation that the wanting causes?

Wanting & Desires - Is Creating Your Reality Bringing You Inner Peace?

Is it the vacation I want or the relief from agitation? In all honesty, my mind tells me it’s the ‘vacation’, but my spirit tells me it’s the relief from the agitation the yearning causes.

Becoming more mindful in our day-to-day lives, becoming more aware of our present moment, brings relief. This does not mean your desires will never manifest (they may or may not). It simply means that by being present you are more open to any and all opportunities for life to reveal and express itself through you. You are no longer held hostage by your thoughts for a ‘future’ desire to manifest, so you see truthfully what is really there. Life can then bring you what you need in the moment. What manifests may be your original desire, but we can never know what is outside our ‘Present Moment’ door, waiting to come in, if we are so fixed on opening another door, a ‘Future’ door, along the corridor.
It can be easy to feel the fear that if we take our eyes off the goal-posts for a second we will miss out, but this is only the ego and the mind’s need to control. Nature, the natural unfolding of life, knows no fear. It simply knows everything works perfectly together when life flows. It does not need pressure or demands placed on it. It simply flourishes freely. 
Are you ready for true freedom? Freedom from wanting? 
Freedom from the agitation caused by wanting?
Freedom can only come now.


Agitation of mind is the cause of desire, the sense of doership and personality. If that is stopped there is quiet. There, ‘knowing’ means ‘being’Sri Ramana Maharshi



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Kelly Martin
Kelly Martin

Kelly Martin, author of ‘When Everyone Shines But You’ is a dedicated writer and blogger who fearlessly explores life’s deepest questions. Faced with a decade of profound anxiety and grief following the loss of her father and her best friend Michael, Kelly embarked on a transformative journey guided by mindfulness, and she hasn’t looked back since. Through her insightful writing, engaging podcasts, and inspiring You Tube channel Kelly empowers others to unearth the hidden treasures within their pain, embracing the profound truth that they are ‘enough’ exactly as they are.

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  1. Andy Bowker
    July 1, 2013 / 5:46 pm

    Thanks Kelly, this is a great post. I never actually thought of it as in wanting relief from agitation. Wise words which may help me on my journey 🙂

  2. August 11, 2013 / 9:52 am

    Thanks Andy, yes it really has made me ponder things and when I think about those things I feel really 'hooked' into wanting and it keeps coming back over and over again I consider what it is I want and it is relief.

  3. February 2, 2014 / 6:51 pm

    I agree. Well written. Thank you.

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