We are told to be authentic, to be who we really are, but how many of us truly ‘own’ who we are?
Maybe you’re single, walking down the street and you see a couple holding hands and laughing and smiling and in that instant you reach out to that couple, yearning to have what they have, in essence to be who they are. You may also be feeling lonely, and see a group of people socialising, again laughing and smiling and you wish you had this too; you wish you were them in that moment.
For some people these are momentary fleeting thoughts, that go as quickly as they come, nothing earth-shattering to them, but then there are others who because of low self worth carry that thought into deep impenetrable yearning and this is where it can get tricky, as feelings go.
We may spend a lot of time yearning to be like that which we perceive other people to be, in love, more popular, more confident, more wealthy… the list goes on. But there comes a time in a person’s life when the overriding desire to be someone else flips around.
What’s so wrong with your own self?
Can you ‘own’ your life and your journey?
Do you want to?
Are you willing and prepared to desire YOU?
We spend way too much time seeking out the ‘other’ to feel better about who we are, the other person, the other dream, the other event, the other physical beauty, that we forget to realise that life, God, the Universe, whatever label you give to creation, created you! So the you who you want not to be, was created with all the personality quirks and flaws, all the gifts and talents and all the shyness, all the sadness and all the joy, all of which was meant to be experienced by you in your life.
Life actually imagined you into being so it could experience your unique views, your unique feelings, your unique appearance, your unique everything!
You may think life did a shoddy job at creating ‘YOU’ but life never makes a mistake. You were never a mistake and as someone shared with me recently:
‘God doesn’t make junk!‘
So even if life feels like one huge challenge right now, start to look at your journey with more loving eyes. Life always meant to experience life through you, through your unique pair of eyes, as well as that couple holding hands, or that group of people socialising, but through YOU, as you are are right now.
If you can begin to bring your attention back to owning and desiring YOU everytime the comparison junkie has you intensely desiring to be someone else, ask yourself ‘Am I owning me right now? Why don’t I desire me instead ?’
There are all types of people in this world. Confident, extroverts, introverts, shy, quiet, colourful, grey, silent characters, and all are equally important in the scheme of this world.
And who knows what you may discover as you finally own YOU instead of desiring to be someone else.
The world may just become what you had been yearning for all along or you will simply relax into who you really are – FREEDOM
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Kelly Martin, author of ‘When Everyone Shines But You’ is a dedicated writer and blogger who fearlessly explores life’s deepest questions. Faced with a decade of profound anxiety and grief following the loss of her father and her best friend Michael, Kelly embarked on a transformative journey guided by mindfulness, and she hasn’t looked back since. Through her insightful writing, engaging podcasts, and inspiring You Tube channel Kelly empowers others to unearth the hidden treasures within their pain, embracing the profound truth that they are ‘enough’ exactly as they are.
Nice post, Kelly. And I've come to realise that I'm doing quite well really.
Good to hear that Andy.