Why Am I Afraid To Be Happy?

Do you ever wonder why life satisfaction feels hard for you? Or do you find that when things are going great you are waiting for something bad to happen? Expecting the worst? Worrying about what’s next on the horizon? It might seem strange but many people think this way, not realising that there is an unconscious desire to feel safe in not being at ease with life. Imagine this experience:…

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For Now I Grieve…

Death is a part of life, something we all must face. Death is a part of nature, in the dying of each season to the next. Death is we exit one doorway and we enter another. So death contains life and the new. Death isn’t final or being stuck in a rut. Death is the end point of one particular part of our journey and the beginning of yet another.…

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How a Crappy 2016 Can Inspire Your Happy New Year

Nine out of ten people, in all probability, had what appeared to be a shitty 2016. From marriage failure, jobs ending, loved ones dying or major health issues.   My 2016 involved solicitor battles, near homelessness and a terrible sense of powerlessness. But from powerlessness came empowerment.   Early in the year, my landlord’s wife died and after 13 years living in a very small open-plan flat with my best…

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I Feel Powerless To War and Hate

Being empathic, sensitive, open at this time can be so hard, to take the hatred, hurt, sorrow and blame flooding the psychic airways. It’s even harder when you are viewing what is happening from a more reflective understanding. I wanted to write this post to share the ‘other side’ because so many in the West are blaming, hating and seeing the ‘other’ as the bad in all of this fear-based…

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Autumn Death Cycle – Are You Dying To The Old?

So things were moving smoothly, you felt like change was happening, you could see that life was unfolding, the old illusory you was shifting, you felt better about who you were, you felt your purpose was unfolding, you felt more connected to others, more confident, more social and BAM! The death cycle hits you. I’m in the midst of what feels like a death cycle. I often feel we follow the seasons of…

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Faith In The Process – Trust Life

Faith In The Process – Trust Life There are times in life when we just feel we cannot move ourselves forward, where no matter how hard we try, no matter what we do, nothing changes. Sometimes life has a bigger plan for us than we could ever imagine and so our thinking small or our attempts at directing the flow make no difference in the scheme of things and our…

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The Agony Of Waiting For Your Destiny

  How old are you?   Are you in your twenties, thirties, forties or beyond?   I remember that in my teens and twenties I had big ideas for my life. I saw myself as doing something worthwhile, but I passed over many different routes to who I am and nothing really cemented, nothing sustained.   I’m 39 this year. That big 40 is looming. Many people may freak out…

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Leaving The Rat Race Takes Courage

*Follow up to Maybe You’re Not A Good Person   After writing my last post it dawned on me that I had painted a picture of myself that emphasised the ‘not good’ qualities and none of the positive. I realised that the picture I painted could be misunderstood and understandably so. It took courage to be that real with both myself and with the world outside and so in this…

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Maybe You’re Not A Good Person?

  “What you run from you run into” ~ Nikita Tweet This!It can be hard to acknowledge and accept that you’re not a ‘good’ person. I pride myself on being a ‘good’ person, thinking if I haven’t got what everyone else has (home of my own, regular income, relationship, family, confidence) at least I’m a ‘good’ person. When you’ve been carrying such a heavy ‘failure’ story for so long, to be…

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U Is For UNCERTAINTY

No-thing is certain, the only certainty we have is life itself. Life is beyond all form, all shape or sense of control, it has no limits, it has no edges, it is like the sky itself. “He took his hands off the oars and pulled in the mooring rope. If I make a couple of loops, he thought, I can strap the axe on to my back.  He had a…

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