It is easy as an introvert to want to stay in the shadows, in the safety of quiet alone time. Extroverts live for the limelight. They thrive and are deeply energised by attention and feedback from the world. Social occasions being food for their souls.
Introverts, on the other hand, retreat into their own world, experiencing quiet reflection, nature, and choosing to enjoy smaller social experiences, with fewer people.
Many introverts are born to express their passions, feeling a deep desire to create art, to write and to communicate in some way. Their souls are calling them to do this, and the practice of being extroverted is often encouraged.
We are told to sell ourselves, promote, attend social events, hold launch parties where we are the centre of attention, which is perfect if you’re an extrovert.
How does an introvert shine
They tear up the rule book of what extroverts tell them to do.
They do what introverts do best, go within, find that still calm place and listen to their intuition.
They spend time meditating, walking in nature; they use social networks in a focussed way and allow opportunities to come to them.
They remain open and alert to the next step.
They don’t force themselves to do extrovert things, like public speaking, until it feels right to do so.
They don’t exert effort that is forced and pushy to bring sales of their products, art, books, etc.
They choose the path of least resistance and allow.
Of course extroverts may do this too, in their own way, but introverts have a different way of operating in the world.
Does this mean that introverts are seen less?
No, not at all. Where an extrovert may boldly shine, an introvert quietly shines, and people love their gentle ways and love their understated approach. In the UK, we are not big on the American way of promoting, and most of the books, tapes, podcasts and videos available on self-promotion and marketing come from the United States. In fact many Brits are put off by the brash, hard sell sales pitch meant for an American audience. Here in Britain, selling tends to be more introverted, more the soft sell approach.
Don’t try to fit into another’s mould
My book, ‘When Everyone Shines But You‘, was launched recently. I researched self-promotion, and literally tied myself in knots, trying to do what extrovert experts said I should do, and I forgot who I was momentarily, until I realised that this was not me. I’m more an introvert, and so I tore up the ‘shoulds’ and the ‘to do’s’ of self-promotion and marketing and what a relief.
I’m now taking a more gentle approach to shining, more me, and no longer trying to fit into the mould of ‘experts’.
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Kelly Martin is the author of ‘When Everyone Shines But You’ , a passionate writer and blogger questioning life’s illusions. After what seemed like a decade of intense anxiety, feelings of failure and grief from the loss of her father she chose to take a mindfulness path and has not looked back since. Kelly encourages people to find the treasures that lie within the pain and suffering and to learn to see themselves as ‘enough’ exactly as they are, right now through her writing and You Tube channel .
