Being Human Part 3 – I’m Right You’re Wrong! – We All Do It

This is a follow up to ‘Saying Goodbye To People Pleasing’ HERE

I have come to the conclusion that being on a journey of self-awareness or spirituality can breed a unsavoury side to how we deal with ourselves. Many people view weaknesses or imperfections as un-spiritual. I imagine there are heck of a lot of people hiding behind a spiritual façade where on the surface everything appears ‘perfect’, where the face the world sees is ‘kind, considerate,generous, loving’ but inside there is ‘judgement’, self-righteousness where they think they are right and others are wrong, which they try to conceal from the world.

I get this only too well, it is so easy to judge and feel guilty for judging, after-all we are given the impression enlightened people don’t judge so what are we to believe?

First, let’s take it all out of the closet now and be honest.

Who doesn’t judge?

Who doesn’t think what they know is right and what another says is wrong?

It may be sugar-coated in ‘everyone is entitled to their opinion’ or ‘everyone walks a different path’ but unless we are well-and-truly clear of a lot of old patterns, conditioned thinking and emotional gunk, behind that there may well be both superiority and inferiority taking place – and judgements supreme.

But you know what? We are human. Why do we feel so bad when we are something other than ‘perfect’ or ‘spiritual’?

Everything is spiritual, everything is perfect, in the sense that everything works together on this beautiful planet. What we feel, say, know, don’t know, all perfect. As and when we feel deeply emotionally centred, we may then choose to inwardly, fully, drop the judgements and stop making ourselves separate from other humans.I don’t feel we can stop judging others unless we totally stop judging ourselves and this in itself is a lifetime process I feel.

If a student of Zen is meditating and falls asleep the master or teacher may well take a piece of wood and hit them. Does the Zen master judge his actions as un-spiritual? Why do we judge ourselves for disagreeing or judging? We are all far too hard on ourselves, trying to live a false set of spiritual ideals which are damn near impossible to follow, unless you can release resistance to having these human traits in the first place. 

My Confessions 

I judge people
I think I am right and others are wrong
I lie
I can be mean
I feel superior
I feel inferior

I get jealous

And you show me another human being that never judges and has never thought this way and I would wonder which planet they arrived from.  

For example this is my blog. I write what is true for me and also what I feel works. I also change my mind, get it wrong, judge, react and respond.

If you disagree with what I say – fine.

You think I am wrong and in turn think you are right and vice versa.

The very difference of opinion, no matter how sugar-coated, gets down to the basics of judgement. We are judging creatures.

Is This A Breath Of Fresh Air?

shocked woman 
How does it feel to own your ‘imperfections’? Truly own them? It may not be easy, but maybe it is easier than resisting that you have these human traits.
Now we are more than the ego, yes, we are, but while the ego still operates, we still have human traits. But we needn’t beat ourselves up any more for believing we are faulty because we also share human ‘perfections’.
I say ‘perfections’ now because we are not mistakes, we grow, we learn, we become aware and as we evolve we may have fewer judgements, we may be more mindful. As we show ourselves more compassion we may have less of a need to show a lack of compassion towards others, but in the meantime, we are all okay. 
Seriously! You judge. Resisting this fact does not help you. Accept it and embrace it.
We all have the dark, the light, the angry, the calm – the everything contained within us.

The Yin Yang symbol is a perfect representation of this. 

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Kelly Martin
Kelly Martin

Kelly Martin, author of ‘When Everyone Shines But You’ is a dedicated writer and blogger who fearlessly explores life’s deepest questions. Faced with a decade of profound anxiety and grief following the loss of her father and her best friend Michael, Kelly embarked on a transformative journey guided by mindfulness, and she hasn’t looked back since. Through her insightful writing, engaging podcasts, and inspiring You Tube channel Kelly empowers others to unearth the hidden treasures within their pain, embracing the profound truth that they are ‘enough’ exactly as they are.

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  1. October 12, 2013 / 6:10 pm

    One of the ways I feel I am 'right' is that I follow a spiritual path rather than the 'religious' path I used to follow, which apparently was 'the only way to God'. Thankfully I'm not following that particular pathway anymore, and I am glad that I don't feel I have to force my beliefs on anyone .. but even that can give me a sense of being right. Funny huh? It's hard to be honest with our feelings and judgements – I've had some stuff come up today which I don't like, but it's there nonetheless. Same goes with superiority feelings – they're not comfortable to admit but I get them sometimes 🙂

  2. October 12, 2013 / 6:22 pm

    It is good you are aware Andy, I feel this is the key so long as we are aware things can naturally evolve and change.

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