Would another persons complaints lessen if we truly heard with an
open heart and expanded instead of withholding our love?
We are told to stay away from negative people – that they will pollute us. Many say put a psychic bubble of protection around us when in the company of people of a low vibration. Some say people are vampires and so much more. But what if everyone has got it wrong? What if instead of avoidance and contracting, we need to expand and connect to these people who apparently cause so many problems?
Many years ago I did a psychic development course. We learned all about the human aura, the chakras and were told to surround ourselves in a protective bubble. We were told some people are like vampires and suck the energy out of people, and that those of us who are extra sensitive need to protect our energies at all costs. But many years later I see this differently. I see the human race differently and I see my outer reality differently.
In the past if I was in for example a cafe, and if someone was extra loud, had a sharp tone in their voice, was angry or expressing in a volatile nature, I naturally contracted. It was a feeling of fear or not feeling safe in some way. But what got me thinking about all of this is that we are not separate from other humans; if we find something uncomfortable in another we need to face and embrace that discomfort within ourselves.
In my recent post ‘What Is Love?‘ I wrote about how we are love, and how divine love has and always will be within us all. It surrounds us in the trees, sky and creatures on the planet, is inside our hearts, our skin, the air we breathe. We are not separate from love so perhaps instead of contracting and withholding our love from the people who are deemed ‘negative’ we might expand, breathe in that negative and in doing so let that love flow.
To me, those people who cause us the most discomfort could quite possibly be a great gift that we have allowed into our worlds, a reason to experience love. Not ordinary human love that tends to be conditional and limited, but limitless whole love.
Expand Don’t Contract If Someone Is Sharing Something Displeasing
Displeasing, this is a word that makes more sense than negative. Negative is a word that perhaps makes another person wrong for expressing something they need to express. What we think is someone being negative could quite honestly be a way to process and handle some intense suffering we have no idea about or could never understand unless we had spent a lifetime in their shoes.
The next time you are around a family member or friend who appears to be negative, ask yourself what is it about what they are saying that displeases you the most? Turn it around, could it possibly be that they are mirroring something in you that you’ve been unwilling to own and take responsibility for?
And breathe the feeling in. If it makes you uncomfortable, try breathing it into your heart instead of tightening up and contracting. See if it makes a difference to the way you feel, and perhaps your relationship may change as a result.
Expanding and Accepting Does Not Mean Putting Up With Abuse
Being around someone who seems to feel a drain does not mean we need to stay in their vicinity at all times. We are human and it takes time to embrace and accept those around us. It takes practice to expand love and to breathe feelings in. Sometimes we need to walk away and this is healthy for us too. We will know when this is the case. If once we have opened our heart and expanded, our inner guidance encourages us to move away, we must follow this. Love goes where it needs to go and love may need us to go elsewhere.
No Need To Defend Yourself Against Negativity
Defence is an act of war. Why would you need to defend yourself against someone expressing who they need to be in that moment? Most great leaders of peace are pro peace not anti war.
Test If The Person Is Negative Or If You Are Simply Perceiving Them Negatively
If you are in a group situation and someone is bothering you, or you are out somewhere in public and a person is really getting on your nerves, look and see if this person is bothering anyone else. If only you seems to be affected by this person, and if only you see this person as being very negative, perhaps there is something you need to look at in yourself as to why you view this person this way.
Someone else could see the person as fine, no problem at all, because they have no problem with the way they talk, the way they behave, the loudness or sound of their voice. They perhaps accept this trait in themselves so the world does not reflect this in their outer environment in the same way. It is worth a good look around to see if other people have the same view of this person or persons.
All in all, it all comes down to whether avoiding people is a loving act or not.
It could be a loving act to self if the person is physically violent or psychologically abusive.
It could be loving if being around them is causing you health issues.
It could be a loving act if you have expanded your love, accepted them for who they are and simply made a choice to let them go.
But if there is something here for you to learn, maybe you could see what love wants to do inside you first.
What are your thoughts on being around ‘negative’ people?
Kelly Martin is the author of ‘When Everyone Shines But You’ , a passionate writer and blogger questioning life’s illusions. After what seemed like a decade of intense anxiety, feelings of failure and grief from the loss of her father she chose to take a mindfulness path and has not looked back since. Kelly encourages people to find the treasures that lie within the pain and suffering and to learn to see themselves as ‘enough’ exactly as they are, right now through her writing and You Tube channel .