Focusing On Lack Is Like Searching For Lost Keys

During an extra long EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) session some time ago, something dawned on me about desire and focusing on lack. It could be lack of anything, money, love, health, physical beauty, anything we feel we have a lack of in our lives.

We may crave connection, love, friendship, money and yet it eludes us like a carrot on the end of a stick being dangled, always just in front of us.

Brad Yates, an EFT teacher, wrote in an e-book that when there are clouds over the blue sky we don’t doubt that the blue sky is there, we just trust and know it is there. This made me think about how frustrating it can feel when we lose something like keys, or something we feel we really need in that moment. We scurry around frantically searching in boxes, cupboards, shelves; we search every nook and cranny and we simply cannot find it. And so, we give up, sit down, make a sandwich, do something else, and suddenly a light-bulb moment and we walk right over to where the object we have lost is, with no effort or thinking process involved.

We discover they are often somewhere we have already looked, but were so impatient, worried or frustrated that we were not receptive to them. The same I feel goes for feeling a lack of anything.

When You Stop Looking It Appears

My friend Andy wrote in his blog that when we stop looking for love, love finds us. When I stopped caring, stopped looking, the lost object just appeared as if by magic.

This needs to be applied to the subject of money, abundance, everything. To stop searching for those money keys and to recognise that those keys will find us when we relax and when we are ready.

Now, admittedly this sounds easier said than done and I know personally I have had ingrained money beliefs (memories) about abundance and how it comes to me or doesn’t. I am slowly loosening my grip on trying to control my life, more recently through the ancient  Hawaiian art of healing called Ho’oponopono. So I know this is not a quick-fix solution, but I feel that knowing the memories are there will allow me to begin the process of clearing them out, so that day-by-day I can stop looking behind the sofa for those lost keys.

Most of us have thought patterns we carry. Some of the lessons and topics we may be struggling with now, and the understanding we gained from overcoming them, may be exactly what we need to share with others in the future.

We have so many memories, thousands if not millions, floating around unconsciously and consciously affecting how we perceive our reality. My own have been observing the women in my family be the caregivers while the men earned the money. Others may have relationship difficulties based on the memories they took on board from their parents’ relationship when growing up. The list goes on. So I feel that many of us are realising it’s now time we stopped carrying these old beliefs of generations of family and start a new era where we clear out those conditioned beliefs.

Holding Myself Back

Growing up, throughout my childhood, I was given the belief that anyone that was blessed with good fortune was to be resented. I had this re-occurring thought pressed into my mind by most of my family that “It’s alright for some!”. In other words it was not alright for me to have wealth or money of my own. This was passed down through generations of family, like some treasure or jewel everyone needed to be made aware of. But, what my family missed was that by viewing the world this way they were carrying the burdens of the past so my family would never amass fortune or material wealth and would always struggle because of these beliefs.

This belief was one I carried for a long time, one I am clearing on now. A part of me would not allow my light to shine or to even consider wealth or abundance because a part of me felt if I did maybe I would be resented too, so in essence I held myself back.

The money, abundance, love, health beliefs we may carry have been hidden behind the clouds of the unquestioned, but now it is time we collectively question and allow change to take place through deep surrender and love.

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Kelly Martin
Kelly Martin

Kelly Martin, author of ‘When Everyone Shines But You’ is a dedicated writer and blogger who fearlessly explores life’s deepest questions. Faced with a decade of profound anxiety and grief following the loss of her father and her best friend Michael, Kelly embarked on a transformative journey guided by mindfulness, and she hasn’t looked back since. Through her insightful writing, engaging podcasts, and inspiring You Tube channel Kelly empowers others to unearth the hidden treasures within their pain, embracing the profound truth that they are ‘enough’ exactly as they are.

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  1. May 6, 2013 / 9:26 am

    Wonderful post, Kelly, I cannot agree more with everything you said. It's amazing how much we are ruled by beliefs that are not our own. I also think its great that more and more people are starting to realise and taking action in clearing them. The more people that do it, the more this world will become a happier place. xx

  2. May 6, 2013 / 10:21 am

    Great post. I think that what we focus on is a reflection of how we feel about ourselves. I know I get really frustrated when trying to find lost keys (which thankfully rarely happens) – focusing on lack breeds more frustration. This subject something I've been aware of recently as you know – maybe a lot of us are being more aware of our focus.

  3. May 7, 2013 / 4:57 pm

    thanks Rach, I could not agree more. I like the changes I am seeing.

  4. May 7, 2013 / 4:58 pm

    thanks Andy, yes I think maybe collective consciousness is shifting we are all feeling this deep need inside to let go and trust and connect with the deepest part of who we are.

  5. July 8, 2014 / 9:55 pm

    Love this! I appreciate how you equate focusing on lack with looking for a sense of completion via external things (lost keys, what others have, etc). It seems that to find a better sense of self-fulfillment, we need to turn inward, on what we have within us.

  6. July 9, 2014 / 10:23 am

    Hi Maria, thank you for dropping by. Yes exactly! Turning inward is so important as everything we need is inside.

  7. July 10, 2014 / 4:33 pm

    So true!

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