My current work in a little gift shop in my local area has given me overtime hours, so financially, things are still enjoyably moving. We have changed the shape of our home-life where I go out to work and Mike enjoys discovering more about himself and creating new avenues in his life.
Its really wonderful to be in a position where life simply flows. Whereas in the past I had a long list of shoulds and what I thought I ought to be doing in my life I honestly don’t know where life is taking me. What is even more amazing is I don’t want to know in advance, I want to feel the thrill of life bringing me potentials and allowing myself to step into those that feel good for me. I would never had believed a year ago I could experience this within myself! Yay for me!
We went for a walk this afternoon and I asked Mike to walk the opposite direction to me around our favourite pond walk in the Forest of Dean so I could have some ‘me’ time and he did and I enjoyed a gentle saunter around the pond and felt such amazing emotion.
In the past I did not understand what this emotion was in my body I thought I was sad because I was so used to feeling sad and depressed in my life so what else could it be? I now recognise it as love. Nature loving me back into my real existence my plant nature, my spirit nature.
I did a journey in a meditation recently and was enveloped in a large leaf. I felt like I was being hugged by Gaia. I would like to explore this more because I know sometimes in nature my mind can go into overdrive and I can feel a fight inside me of the internal chatterbox, but sometimes I feel this silence and embrace the possibility of accessing this at all times.
On my walk today I saw green, blue and red dragonfly’s. I talked to them gently and they flew so close to me I could see their thousands of eyes and their luminescent colours.
If you awoke this morning and you found yourself devoid of a role, devoid of identifying with a job, a place or a home how would you feel? frightened? or excited to be alive?
I choose excitement.