Button Pushers As Reflections

Button Pushers As Reflections

This is a guest post by Michael Doherty from The Michael Files

The people who annoy you the most are the most valuable gifts.

It sometimes seems that my role in life is to p*ss people off, by challenging them, by asking awkward questions, by making them face unpalatable truths about themselves.
They’ll often get angry, shout at me, swear, call me all the names under the sun, and walk away. All those reactions are fine with me. I believe in people expressing what they feel about me, to me. Usually they give what I’ve said some thought, and then come back.
I’m sure Kelly will agree that I can be a ‘pain in the arse’ at times, but she’ll also tell you that I’m usually right, and that given time, she’ll value what I said and realise that I said those things in her best interests.
I believe that everything we experience in life is a gift from The Universe, whether we judge it to be good, bad or indifferent.  I also believe that if we don’t work through a particular lesson, then we’ll be given it again, and again, and again, until we do.

Button Pushers As Reflections


Same Women, Different Bodies

In my life I’ve had a number of long-term relationships, with different women, or so I thought.

Actually they were the same, just in different bodies. I’ve also had many different jobs, but again, all the same, just different environments.

In every case, relationships and jobs, I’ve faced identical situations because I haven’t dealt with what The Universe was offering me as a gift, so that I could grow as a person.
I’ve also found that everyone who ‘pushes my buttons’ is in fact a great teacher. They’re teaching me by being a mirror, showing me a reflection of something that’s part of me, and something that I have to face up to and change.
In fact, in my experience, the most valuable teachers were those I could have cheerfully strangled.
I’m not suggesting you shouldn’t change your job for something better, but I am suggesting that you might ask yourself: ‘What lessons can I learn from that ba****d?’ ‘What is it about him/her that is a reflection of something in me I need to change?’
Truth is:- even if you change jobs, partners, anything, hoping that your life will improve, and become that paradise you dream of, there is one big, BIG problem that you can’t change.

You’ll still be there

You can’t get away from you, and the only thing you can really change is you. And, until you do, the very same mirrors will appear in front of you.
Until you do, you’ll find yourself in same dramas again and again, the only difference being that the cast will have changed, but not the roles they play, nor the ending. But, hey ho, no matter. You’ll get another opportunity. You can rely on that. 


Button Pushers As ReflectionsBIO: Michael has had a wealth of experience in many areas – teaching, counselling, writing and business, to mention just a few. He has studied mathematics, physics, psychology, western and eastern philosophies, and continues to remain up-to-date in all his areas of interest. Because of his wide ranging skills, he is able offer penetrating insights into many areas, but especially those involving interpersonal relationships. He has written a beginners’ guide to the ‘I Ching’, due for publication this year, and has a new blog at: The Michael Files.
For more guest posts by Michael Doherty please click HERE

Photo Credit:
Photos above used in varied places across the internet. If you are the original creator of the photos please contact me and I am only to happy to remove or give proper credit.

Kelly Martin
Kelly Martin

Kelly Martin, author of ‘When Everyone Shines But You’ is a dedicated writer and blogger who fearlessly explores life’s deepest questions. Faced with a decade of profound anxiety and grief following the loss of her father and her best friend Michael, Kelly embarked on a transformative journey guided by mindfulness, and she hasn’t looked back since. Through her insightful writing, engaging podcasts, and inspiring You Tube channel Kelly empowers others to unearth the hidden treasures within their pain, embracing the profound truth that they are ‘enough’ exactly as they are.

Find me on: Web | Twitter/X | Instagram | Facebook


  1. Anna Ferguson
    July 25, 2013 / 10:12 am

    I found this one amusing 🙂 nice blog xx

  2. July 25, 2013 / 10:20 am

    (SMILE) It made me laugh out loud when I read it. And he is right, often he is my biggest teacher and I could also strangle him at times LOL but generally after a short period of time, I come to the conclusion about a topic I have dug my heels in over, that what he said about it was correct LOL

  3. dream109
    July 25, 2013 / 1:12 pm

    Fantastic post, Mike. I totally agree and have learnt this within the last year. It's fascinating to look back over my life and see what reflections have been occurring over and over. I'm now healing the inside, so the outside changes. Thanks!

  4. Michael Doherty
    July 25, 2013 / 5:21 pm

    Hi there, Dream 109 and Anna.

    Glad you enjoyed the post. Years ago, the 'I Ching' told me that my then new lady was the same person in a different body, and I thought: "What a load of rubbish". Later on it was quite humbling to have to admit to myself that it was true.

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