It’s challenging to not focus on what we see above us in the skies lately. Especially in the UK. Even the most hardened sceptic can spend a few hours in their garden gazing up, watching criss-cross white lines appear across the beautiful blue sky. And we all notice how the lines don’t disappear (like they did in the past), but instead they expand and form clouds. There are many different…
View PostIn deepening my understanding of relationships and attachment styles, I’ve come to realise that my upbringing, feeling insecure as a child, created an unhealthy relationship with security. While other children may have felt secure in a stable, non-volatile, or emotionally receptive world, being shown instability, insecurity, uncertainty, and never knowing if I was going to be acknowledged, seen, or heard led to feeling secure when feeling insecure. This created my…
View PostSo in February, I was starting to understand a fear of happiness when I wrote Why am I afraid to be happy? It was a thought process beginning to unravel more deeply what was going on for me. Since then, I have discovered that, due to my early life programming, unlike many, my baseline for life is suffering, pain, and struggle. I was rewarded when I was feeling bad as…
View PostImagine my surprise when I discovered I wasn’t committed to success or personal growth but instead to escaping. Why would I be committed to escaping, and how is this even possible? Many of us on a spiritual or healing journey probably have as our priority our own wellbeing, personal growth, and transformation. We also probably have desires to succeed in areas we love or are passionate about, and we may…
View PostSince my best friend died in 2023, I’ve been considering my life a lot, my relationships, friendships, and so much more. Grief brings with it a deep sense of loneliness, especially when the one who died was a partner or husband. Michael, while not my husband, was like a husband in many ways. We didn’t so much have the romance, but we certainly had the emotional intimacy, and we enjoyed…
View PostI’ve had my share of loneliness over the course of my 47 years on Planet Earth. I’ve felt isolated on more than one occasion, but facing isolation without using the old distraction methods is a whole different ballgame. Often, we feel lonely because we want something other than what is. We yearn for people, connection, and company, yet we can be in the company of others and still feel isolated…
View PostAfter nearly a year of doing inner child work and shadow work, there are some issues that can feel like hooks that I struggle to change. Shadow-work and inner child work aren’t some new age concept where you do a quick look in a meditation and then pop out again or where you find a hurting child and you just say a few nice words to them, hug them, and…
View PostAs a recovering people-pleaser and recovering co-dependent person, it came as a shock to realise that to overcome and move forward beyond these patterns, I have to give myself permission to be bad. What does this mean? Most of us are programmed early on that to be a ‘good’ person, we need to be or do X,Y,Z. Your particular flavour of X, Y, and Z could be to be a…
View PostThe deeper we go into inner child work and look at the shadow, the more layers appear to be brought into the light. As a recovering people-pleaser, I’ve spent most of my life being whatever was needed ‘for other people’. Why did I do this? Anything we do that is against our natural flow is often to keep us safe. We have many behaviours we may engage in that protect…
View PostThis post came about after talking with a friend about someone in my life who I find quite draining now. Someone who, when I am around, really has no personal engagement—a sense of a death friendship rather than an alive and invigorated friendship. I spoke about this a little in a recent post. My friend and I have been talking about how everything ‘out there’ is a character ‘in here’;…
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