“I think sometimes when you’re extra sensitive you tend to be really sensitive to the needs of others and it’s easy to get locked and trapped into a way of life where we give and give and give to the point where we’re exhausted “
– Kelly Martin
Are you a giver? Do you give to the point of exhaustion? Is saying NO difficult for you?
In this podcast I talk about relationships and why trying to give when we have no energy to do so is detrimental to our well-being.
If you feel it is time to let go of people-pleasing and giving too much, this podcast is for you. We need to fill our own cup up first before we help others.
Highlights from the episode:
- How ‘giver’ versus ‘taker’ can be a co-dependent relationship
- Why we can learn to over-give because of our upbringing
- Why we may need to recognise that being a giver is a role we identify too much with
- How saying no actually is healthy and gives boundaries as an act of self-care.
QUOTES
“I’ve got family members who I know find it really difficult to say no. One in particular who says yes to everything and then they speak to me on the telephone and tell me how upset and resentful and angry and how dare that person put all of that pressure onto them, but they said yes, they didn’t say no”
“But there comes a point when you’re a parent well you need to set boundaries and to set parent boundaries for children is actually it gives them a sense of safety, it’s not a punishment it makes them feel they’re safe ”
“Every time you say yes to doing something for somebody else when you don’t really want to, you’re actually allowing them to take up space in your world, in your heart, where something amazing or beautiful or a new person in your life could step in and take a wonderful space in your life”
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Kelly Martin is the author of ‘When Everyone Shines But You’ , a passionate writer and blogger questioning life’s illusions. After what seemed like a decade of intense anxiety, feelings of failure and grief from the loss of her father she chose to take a mindfulness path and has not looked back since. Kelly encourages people to find the treasures that lie within the pain and suffering and to learn to see themselves as ‘enough’ exactly as they are, right now through her writing and You Tube channel .
