Are We Made To Give Unconditionally?

man and dog
Sometimes I am hesitant to use the word God in blog posts, as everyone comes from different backgrounds, some are religious, some are not, so when I say God I mean life.

In a bookshop last week I read a poem on ‘giving’ by Kahlil Gibran and it struck me how conditional I still am in my giving.

Kahlil Gibran – On Giving

You give but little when you give of your possessions.

It is when you give of yourself that you truly give.

For what are your possessions but things you keep and guard for fear you may need them tomorrow?

And tomorrow, what shall tomorrow bring to the overprudent dog burying bones in the trackless sand as he follows the pilgrims to the holy city?

And what is fear of need but need itself?

Is not dread of thirst when your well is full, the thirst that is unquenchable?

There are those who give little of the much which they have–and they give it for recognition and their hidden desire makes their gifts unwholesome.

And there are those who have little and give it all.
These are the believers in life and the bounty of life, and their coffer is never empty.
There are those who give with joy, and that joy is their reward.
And there are those who give with pain, and that pain is their baptism.
And there are those who give and know not pain in giving, nor do they seek joy, nor give with mindfulness of virtue;
They give as in yonder valley the myrtle breathes its fragrance into space.
Through the hands of such as these God speaks, and from behind their eyes He smiles upon the earth.
It is well to give when asked, but it is better to give unasked, through understanding;
And to the open-handed the search for one who shall receive is joy greater than giving.
And is there aught you would withhold?
All you have shall some day be given;
Therefore give now, that the season of giving may be yours and not your inheritors’.
You often say, “I would give, but only to the deserving.”
The trees in your orchard say not so, nor the flocks in your pasture.
They give that they may live, for to withhold is to perish.
Surely he who is worthy to receive his days and his nights, is worthy of all else from you.
And he who has deserved to drink from the ocean of life deserves to fill his cup from your little stream.
And what desert greater shall there be, than that which lies in the courage and the confidence, nay the charity, of receiving?
And who are you that men should rend their bosom and unveil their pride, that you may see their worth naked and their pride unabashed?
See first that you yourself deserve to be a giver, and an instrument of giving.
For in truth it is life that gives unto life while you, who deem yourself a giver, are but a witness.
And you receivers… and you are all receivers… assume no weight of gratitude, lest you lay a yoke upon yourself and upon him who gives.
Rather rise together with the giver on his gifts as on wings;
For to be overmindful of your debt, is to doubt his generosity who has the freehearted earth for mother, and God for father.
sunshine grass hand

With the best intentions we share, give, express to others, but how many of us give like life does, give like God or love does?

Life, earth, trees filled with fruit, raindrops gifting us water, the love of a friendly dog – life gives to all. The Sun shines on us all, the good, the bad, the indifferent – just giving without judgement.

As humans, many of us give to those we like, give to those we empathise with or feel obligated to give to, but how often do we give to those we may have some pre-judgment of, those we feel don’t deserve to be given to?

thanksgiving fruit abundance

For example:

Those expressing anger or hatred towards us or others.
Those encouraging war.
Those killing whales or dolphins.
Those polluting the planet.

The list goes on…

Is it possible to give like God?

I admit, it is not easy sometimes. Far easier to point fingers at world leaders or governments; far easier to make wrong those we feel are doing terrible things on this planet. But by doing this are we not perpetuating the energy of fear on this planet? Change happens inside of us. We need to open our hearts to the entire world – not just those pleasing aspects of life.

Since beginning a practice of Ho’oponopono (see HERE for more info.), I am day-by-day discovering how the world I see and experience through my eyes is my responsibility. It would not be in my reality if I were not there too.

When my thoughts turn to anger and hate of another, or a group in society, I am simply adding to the collective fear energy. With Ho’oponopono, it helps me see the other side of an experience of manifestation.

Hating the government is not going to make the government be more reasonable or loving. Why should it when I am being unreasonable or unloving, why should it when I am being unreasonable, unloving and conditional in my giving – think about it.

Gift a child with love and it will grow in love.
Gift a child with anger or fear and it will grow in fear.

Why would the entire world be any different?


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Kelly Martin
Kelly Martin

Kelly Martin, author of ‘When Everyone Shines But You’ is a dedicated writer and blogger who fearlessly explores life’s deepest questions. Faced with a decade of profound anxiety and grief following the loss of her father and her best friend Michael, Kelly embarked on a transformative journey guided by mindfulness, and she hasn’t looked back since. Through her insightful writing, engaging podcasts, and inspiring You Tube channel Kelly empowers others to unearth the hidden treasures within their pain, embracing the profound truth that they are ‘enough’ exactly as they are.

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  1. Andy Bowker
    June 5, 2013 / 9:16 pm

    I must admit, I've associated the word 'giving' with money having been in a church where they highly emphasised giving of your money. And as I didn't have that much money, it was a bit of a sacrifice to give money at times. Maybe I associate giving with sacrifice. Or it could be that I have not felt I have much to give. Interesting post .. it might get me thinking a bit.

  2. dream109
    June 7, 2013 / 9:28 am

    Interesting post..I love the poem! I believe in the power of giving. I find with myself though, that I have to find a balance…I don't balance my giving as much as I should. I'm not sure of that cause of this, hopefully it will become clear to me at some point. I feel that there is a lesson for me. A limitation I've placed on myself maybe. Great post! x

  3. June 7, 2013 / 9:43 am

    I can imagine that could have that effect on you Andy. For me realising the giving I can give is my love. If I have little materially, I can always give a pair of listening ears, or simply have someone in my thoughts or a situation like war or whales being killed for whale meat etc etc…

  4. June 7, 2013 / 9:45 am

    Thank you.

    Do you feel you give too much or too little? I think your right on balance. I know someone that has given to everyone around them for a very long time to the detriment of their own personal expansion (self sacrifice). I think sometimes people give because they feel it is saintly or people will like them if they give to them too. I have been a fairly selfish person most of my life and now realising how important it is to open my heart and give unconditionally now. Not always easy, sometimes damn hard but I know its adding something better to the world.

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