Ho’oponopono what? Yes, it is a long word, a word I often have to think about when I try to spell it, but a word that describes an ancient Hawaiian healing process. As many of my readers will know I have been experimenting with many different spiritual techniques and healing practices over the past 10 years and more. Ranging from Shamanism, NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming), EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique), Law of Attraction – create your reality visualisation – vision boards, scripting, affirmations, angel meditations.. well, you get the drift. I have probably been to most classes, workshops, read so many books and bought many a t-shirt.
But, you get to a point where you realise that nothing works. EFT helps with releasing tension, is great for phobias, BUT I was always craving something else. The spiritual seeking was taking me in a direction of coming home, to myself, to love, the Universe, God, whatever name you choose to label the source of ‘All That Is’. I found many of these techniques encourage attachment even though a part of the teachings say ‘let go’. I was no longer wanting to feel the suffering that came along with attachment, heightened expectations, and a need to control my life. So Ho’oponopono arrived into my life.
I came across this ancient form of healing practice a few years ago, but I was not ready to take responsibility for my life, my choices, my inner reactions to what I perceived was outside of me back then. I intellectually got Ho’oponopono, but another part of me was in the background saying “Well just do this and you will manifest what you want.” WRONG! This is not what Ho’oponopono is about. It is not a fast track approach. It is not ‘The Secret’ where you sit in your armchair imagining you’re driving a sports car and suddenly it appears. No. Ho’oponopono is much more.
My experience of Ho’oponopono has been a challenging one, not in a bad way but in a confusing way. There is a lot of material online on Ho’oponopono, some of it conflicting in that some people use it alongside the Law of Attraction to attract what they want, and some that use the real core teachings which are starting to work for me.
I say starting to work but not in a “What I want has manifested” way, but more that my life path is changing, opening, in unexpected and not intended ways.
What Is Ho’oponopono?
So what is Ho’oponopono and how does it work? Well, I am new to this so bear with me. I could be wrong, but I am just going to say how I understand it. This may change with time.
To me the whole concept of Ho’oponopono is that we are 100% responsible for everything that appears in our reality. Now I used to believe in the whole ‘life is a reflection’ analogy, but did not get it, and often used it to blame people (wide grin) so it’s not like that, not at all. Instead, everything I see, feel, experience through my eyes and senses, that I perceive to be ‘out there’, is in fact ‘in here’. It is all inside me. This goes for mother earth, animals, nature, people, wars, rape. Basically I am responsible for all those things I can see or experience.
Now this is hard to get the head around, so it’s best to not overthink it like I did. Responsibility is not blame. We are not to blame, but our memories that we replay are responsible for creating the world we see. Often these memories come from our ancestors, there are often million’s of memories that we are totally unaware of in our unconscious. This is the reason why affirmations and visualisations do not work. They may appear to work in some cases, but only if you are clear of the memories that may block your life unfolding in the way you are inwardly guided to. So if you have blocks to money and visualise having plenty, but you have some deeper unconscious memories of lack or non-deserving that you are not aware of, you could visualise till the cows come home and nothing would change. This is where Ho’oponopono comes in – but not to manifest the money!
Now, with experiences like rape, abuse, war, famine etc. etc., I am fairly new to Ho’oponopono, so here is a link to a more experienced teacher who may answer your questions on this. I know the very thought of feeling that responsible for everything can cause so many questions, anger and resistance, so Mabel’s blog may be able to help you understand further.
I am truly open to understanding this fully and if you are more experienced and see Ho’oponopono differently, please do share. I am very interested in hearing your experience too.
Longing & Envy Drove Me Back To Ho’oponopono
What got me interested in Ho’oponopono the second time around was, I had reached a period in my life where despair, longing, jealousy and resentment were beginning to grow in me. I had become so sad to see so many people I knew, receiving easily and effortlessly, those things I genuinely desired at a deep level. I was so attached to these desires and no amount of ‘trying’ to let go was working. I grew frustrated because intellectually I thought that the reason my life was not turning out the way I wanted it to, was my fault because I was unable to let go and if I could just let go it would work. Of course there is no ‘should’ letting go. You cannot should yourself to do anything; you cannot make yourself let go; letting go is an inner thing; it’s a deeper surrender to what is; an acceptance and surrender to the natural flow of life. It does not walk alongside attachment or needing things to turn out a certain way. It’s about trust; deep trust that whatever is happening or not happening is doing so for a higher purpose. Love always knows the way.
So I began investigating Ho’oponopono again. I re-read Joe Vitale’s book ‘Zero Limits’, which was an okay introduction, but left me with more questions than answers. So I wrote to Mabel Katz to see if I could review one of her books and was blessed to receive 3 to review from her very generous company. ‘The Easiest Way‘ and ‘The Easiest Way To Live’ really helped me to understand this further. But I still had more questions and through trial and error I am beginning to understand Ho’oponopono more.
So what do you do? How do you do Ho’oponopono and how does it work?
Well, from my novice experiences of this you simply say 1 or all of the following:
I Am Sorry
Please Forgive Me
I Love You
These are statements that can be pretty much repeated like a mantra. You don’t have to feel anything, you don’t have to intend anything; in fact from my experience, intending simply does not work.
These statements are cleaning statements. They clean the memories. Both the conscious and unconscious. Cleaning gives permission to God/The Universe to transmute and clear the memories that are not who we really are. As we are not our memories.
How do the statements do this? I have no idea, they just do. According to Dr Hew Len, Ho’oponopono is not from this earth and I must admit my inner skeptic did frown at this, BUT I cannot judge the results since I began cleaning. What I got from Dr Hew Len is that everything needs love. Even the walls of my home, my toilet, everything. As everything is inside me, I need love. So in loving everything, giving thanks for everything, including those problems I have with others that I have projected ‘out there’ everything needs love.
Dr Hew Len healed an entire ward of criminally insane patients through the use of Ho’oponopono and without tending or treating any of them. He simply sat in his office; went through the files of the people on the ward and took full responsibility for the people, the ward, the experiences – knowing that everything is inside of him. Take a look at the story of Dr Hew Len and the healing here.
And all he said was I’m sorry, I love you.
Can it be that simple?
I feel it can. I think as human beings we like complicated, many of us on the spiritual or metaphysical path do not feel a process or technique will work unless it has some significant complexity to it. We also expect instant results and so we go from one technique, training, workshop, teacher, to another. But Ho’oponopono is that simple. It is about love. I feel that if we are all honest, then most of what we gather on the spiritual path comes down to love and Ho’oponopono connected the dots for me.
The Inner Child
How do we do this? I am new to this, and for me I followed this meditation here and began simply holding my inner child’s hand, stroking her hair, simply to reconnect. I am told that the more we do Ho’oponopono, the clearer we become and we reach a point of zero where life/God/the Universe fills us, and from there we are inspired, with no intent or expectation, simply divine inspiration, as and when we are ready to hear (or know) it.
Is That It? We Only Need To Say Those Statements?
Well, there are more ‘in depth’ ways of doing it, if you choose. However, it is not necessary. I thought it was in the beginning. In the beginning I had to clean on the fact that I did not believe Ho’oponopono was going to work for me, so before I even started, I had to clean on that belief.
I have discovered over the past 2 months that for some, going in more depth is helpful and for others it is not. Use your feelings as a guide. This amazing blog promotes great understanding of Ho’oponopono and if you want to go into greater depth with the statements, it gives good examples. I also realise, since doing the Inner Child meditation here, that more in depth is good when connecting with the inner child. Since reading Mabel Katz’s blog I realise it is not necessary to do this all the time in the cleaning. A simple, Thank you, I love you does it all. She says that ‘I’m sorry’, ‘Please forgive me’ is inbuilt into Thank you or I love you. This works for me.
I did the more ‘in depth’ version described in this blog for the first 2 months and just this past few days I have realised that the words “I’m sorry” “Please Forgive me” are not good for me to say on a regular basis (unless I am spending time connecting with my inner child or it seems to work well when I am out walking).
The more I used the more descriptive statements like “I am sorry that something in me has created this problem, I am sorry that a memory is replaying and causing you suffering” etc.. the more sad and despairing I felt. I realise some of us may have used these words for a very long time in a negative way. For me I was always feeling sorry for my very existence. I was sorry for being such a failure in life. And when I said please forgive me I felt I was back in my inner child space where I was the inner child experiencing the suffering speaking to the inner child experiencing the suffering, which just brought up so much conflict. My human need to understand got in the way.
So now, as of last night, I simply say “Thank you, I love you” most of the time. This brings me a feeling of relief, of lightness, of blessings. So this is what is working for me now. I use more in-depth statements when I talking directly to my inner child or when it feels right to do so.
What has happened since I began doing Ho’oponopono?
I did not expect what happened; I did not think it would work but it has. The first thing that began to happen was that people began to respond differently to me. People wanted to connect more with me (and being a practical loner for 3 years now, this was a big thing). I then noticed people I had difficulty with in my home life began to change. One major change was a person that would cause a lot of noise and was very ungiving, began to give and share and be more kind. I had known him for over 10 years and suddenly he began to offer help and support in ways I had always hoped he would but didn’t. I did not speak to this man, I simply cleaned when the feelings of anger and resentment came up. I said: ‘I love you, I love you, I love you’. I took responsibility for his place in my world and it changed his place in my world. I did not intend this to happen. And it happened within 2 days of doing ho’oponopono.
Life flows, when I ho’oponopono!
I suddenly began to get more opportunities related to my blog, more ideas and inspiration. Life flows when I ho’oponopono.
So this is just the beginning of my journey, a journey of surrender and letting go.
What do I want out of this process?
To feel free, to feel clear. To accept myself, to love myself. To embrace my life with gratitude. To allow myself to be divinely inspired and to no longer need certain outcomes in life to make me feel good. To be present, in the now.
And this is a big turnaround for me. Before Ho’oponopono I wanted to travel the world, write, teach. I still have some yearning to do with this, and I clean. The difference now is that day by day I realise that love (divinity) knows me better than I know myself, that what I think I want or need is not necessarily what is for my highest good in life. And yes, I still have wants; I want to be in the flow. I look forward to sharing my journey further with you and please share yours.
Donate to Kelly’s blog below
If you are looking for more resources or more information on Ho’oponopono, drop by Mabel Katz’s site.
- Are You Scared To Be Authentic?The deeper we go into inner child work and look at the shadow, the more layers appear to be brought into the light. As a recovering people-pleaser, I’ve spent most of my life being whatever was needed ‘for other people’. Why did I do this? Anything we do that is against our natural flow is…
- Do You Need To Be Needed?This post came about after talking with a friend about someone in my life who I find quite draining now. Someone who, when I am around, really has no personal engagement—a sense of a death friendship rather than an alive and invigorated friendship. I spoke about this a little in a recent post. My friend…
- Why Am I Afraid To Be Happy?Do you ever wonder why life satisfaction feels hard for you? Or do you find that when things are going great you are waiting for something bad to happen? Expecting the worst? Worrying about what’s next on the horizon? It might seem strange but many people think this way, not realising that there is an…
- You Validate Your Dark and Light – Not Others!I’ve been consciously on my own spiritual path for around 24 years now, and I’ve gone through a whole host of experiences, attachments, struggles, awakenings, and resistance too. One thing I have learned is that we are not at all responsible for validating another person’s emotional journey. Neither are we responsible for making emotional experiences…
- Unlocking Authenticity: Breaking the Cycle of Seeking Validation Through Helping OthersFor 23 years, I have been a channel for healing, and in that time, I have spent a lot of time helping others, supporting others, organising plans for groups, and giving more than I received back, more often than not. I volunteered, undersold myself, and charged the bare minimum at times, and while I was…