Loss Upon Loss Losing a loved one is hard, losing a partner is hard, saying goodbye to an old life and the place you lived for over 20 years is hard, adjusting to living in a small room in your mother’s house is hard. Little did I know that only three weeks later, my mother would suddenly die. Strength and Shattered Safety Nets People say I’m strong, brave, courageous. My…
View PostIt’s okay not to know. Society trains us from an early age to know. Know about anything and everything. And if we don’t know how something works, we are taught to find out. If we don’t know how to do anything, we are taught to find out. We are never taught to sit in the feeling of ‘I don’t know’. Not knowing is okay. Not knowing who you are, not…
View PostIt can be very easy to ‘want’ and ‘desire’ what we think we ‘ought to’ desire. We may even think these are our genuine wants, but what if they are not? What if we are kidding ourselves? Let me give you some examples: ‘I want a successful healing business’ ‘I want to be a bestselling author’ ‘I want a partner’ What if these are not your true wants whatsoever, and…
View PostI’ve been consciously on my own spiritual path for around 24 years now, and I’ve gone through a whole host of experiences, attachments, struggles, awakenings, and resistance too. One thing I have learned is that we are not at all responsible for validating another person’s emotional journey. Neither are we responsible for making emotional experiences invalid for another human being, but let’s face it, we’ve all been there and bought…
View PostSo, why am I so stuck? Feeling stuck in life can be a hard experience, especially if it has been a long time. My experience of feeling stuck stretches out over most of my life, especially my adult life. What I have learned is that we can’t unstick our lives until it is time to unstick our lives. Many unconscious childhood programmes can be playing beneath the surface that we…
View PostIt’s coming to the end of 2023, and losing Michael to sepsis and my friend to cancer, grief has led me on a road of massive self-reflection in 2023. I continue to self-reflect, but some of the biggest realisations are happening as a result of having the rug pulled from under me. Seeing a local healer/therapist because I didn’t know how I was going to get work or more business…
View PostFrom When Everyone Shines But You There are many fears in the world. Fear of spiders, enclosed spaces, heights etc., but a major fear I see on planet Earth is the fear of ‘not enough’. Feeling that as you are is not good enough, so you strive to be better, to be more, to be better than your fellow man, when in fact you are vast and far more expansive…
View PostFor as long as I can remember my menstrual cycle just hasn’t felt right. My period started at age 13 and every month it came with extreme cramping. Back then I don’t think doctors knew much about PCOS (Polycystic Ovary Syndrome) or conditions like endometriosis and so I took 2-3 days off school when it came on during a school week. I would cry, rolling around on the floor at…
View PostAt the end of 2016 some old issues began to rise for me. Deep fears and stuff that has held me back in life, but I chose to brush them under the carpet. Being Wrong – Owning This Grizzly Bear I was brought up with a repetitive phrase told to me throughout childhood and into teen years whenever I had an emotional reaction, frustration and not…
View PostNine out of ten people, in all probability, had what appeared to be a shitty 2016. From marriage failure, jobs ending, loved ones dying or major health issues. My 2016 involved solicitor battles, near homelessness and a terrible sense of powerlessness. But from powerlessness came empowerment. Early in the year, my landlord’s wife died and after 13 years living in a very small open-plan flat with my best…
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