Why am I scared to be happy? So in February, I was starting to understand a fear of happiness when I wrote Why am I afraid to be happy? It was a thought process beginning to unravel more deeply what was going on for me. Since then, I have discovered that, due to my early life programming, unlike many, my baseline for life is suffering, pain, and struggle. I was…
View PostImagine my surprise when I discovered I wasn’t committed to success or personal growth but instead to escaping. Why would I be committed to escaping, and how is this even possible? Many of us on a spiritual or healing journey probably have as our priority our own wellbeing, personal growth, and transformation. We also probably have desires to succeed in areas we love or are passionate about, and we may…
View PostAttracted to avoidant partners? Since my best friend died in 2023, I’ve been considering my life a lot, my relationships, friendships, and so much more. Grief brings with it a deep sense of loneliness, especially when the one who died was a partner or husband. Michael, while not my husband, was like a husband in many ways. We didn’t so much have the romance, but we certainly had the emotional…
View PostI’ve had my share of loneliness over the course of my 47 years on Planet Earth. I’ve felt isolated on more than one occasion, but facing isolation without using the old distraction methods is a whole different ballgame. Often, we feel lonely because we want something other than what is. We yearn for people, connection, and company, yet we can be in the company of others and still feel isolated…
View PostAfter nearly a year of doing inner child work and shadow work, there are some issues that can feel like hooks that I struggle to change, the belief ‘Is there something wrong with me?’ is one of those. Shadow-work and inner child work aren’t some new age concept where you do a quick look in a meditation and then pop out again or where you find a hurting child and…
View PostAs a recovering people-pleaser and recovering co-dependent person, it came as a shock to realise that to overcome and move forward beyond these patterns, I have to give myself permission to be bad. What does this mean? Most of us are programmed early on that to be a ‘good’ person, we need to be or do X,Y,Z. Your particular flavour of X, Y, and Z could be to be a…
View PostThe deeper we go into inner child work and look at the shadow, the more layers appear to be brought into the light. As a recovering people-pleaser, I’ve spent most of my life being whatever was needed ‘for other people’. Why did I do this? Anything we do that is against our natural flow is often to keep us safe. We have many behaviours we may engage in that protect…
View PostHow do I let go of a friend with mental health issues? This post came about after talking with a friend about someone in my life who I find quite draining now. Someone who, when I am around, really has no personal engagement—a sense of a death friendship rather than an alive and invigorated friendship. I spoke about this a little in a recent post. My friend and I have…
View PostDo you ever wonder why life satisfaction feels hard for you? Or do you find that when things are going great you are waiting for something bad to happen? Expecting the worst? Worrying about what’s next on the horizon? It might seem strange but many people think this way, not realising that there is an unconscious desire to feel safe in not being at ease with life. Imagine this experience:…
View PostI’ve been consciously on my own spiritual path for around 24 years now, and I’ve gone through a whole host of experiences, attachments, struggles, awakenings, and resistance too. One thing I have learned is that we are not at all responsible for validating another person’s emotional journey. Neither are we responsible for making emotional experiences invalid for another human being, but let’s face it, we’ve all been there and bought…
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