Are You Scared To Be Authentic?

The deeper we go into inner child work and look at the shadow, the more layers appear to be brought into the light. As a recovering people-pleaser, I’ve spent most of my life being whatever was needed ‘for other people’. Why did I do this? Anything we do that is against our natural flow is often to keep us safe. We have many behaviours we may engage in that protect…

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Do You Need To Be Needed?

This post came about after talking with a friend about someone in my life who I find quite draining now. Someone who, when I am around, really has no personal engagement—a sense of a death friendship rather than an alive and invigorated friendship. I spoke about this a little in a recent post. My friend and I have been talking about how everything ‘out there’ is a character ‘in here’;…

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You Validate Your Dark and Light – Not Others!

I’ve been consciously on my own spiritual path for around 24 years now, and I’ve gone through a whole host of experiences, attachments, struggles, awakenings, and resistance too. One thing I have learned is that we are not at all responsible for validating another person’s emotional journey. Neither are we responsible for making emotional experiences invalid for another human being, but let’s face it, we’ve all been there and bought…

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Unlocking Authenticity: Breaking the Cycle of Seeking Validation Through Helping Others

For 23 years, I have been a channel for healing, and in that time, I have spent a lot of time helping others, supporting others, organising plans for groups, and giving more than I received back, more often than not. I volunteered, undersold myself, and charged the bare minimum at times, and while I was merely surviving and some of those paying me had more than I did, I didn’t…

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Understanding and Overcoming Mental Blocks: Unravelling the Reasons Behind Feeling Stuck

So, why am I so stuck? Feeling stuck in life can be a hard experience, especially if it has been a long time. My experience of feeling stuck stretches out over most of my life, especially my adult life. What I have learned is that we can’t unstick our lives until it is time to unstick our lives. Many unconscious childhood programmes can be playing beneath the surface that we…

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Why We Need Re-Parenting

In all honesty, most people probably need re-parenting unless they have a picture-perfect childhood where parents established good, healthy boundaries, praised you, encouraged you, and were great role models for self-empowerment and connection. Most people have some re-parenting needs, and many of us have massive re-parenting needs. SO WHY DO YOU NEED RE-PARENTING? All of the above has huge repercussions for you, the adult. The result of poor or bad…

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Empower Your Heart: Free Yourself From Taking Responsibility For Others

It’s coming to the end of 2023, and losing Michael to sepsis and my friend to cancer, grief has led me on a road of massive self-reflection in 2023. I continue to self-reflect, but some of the biggest realisations are happening as a result of having the rug pulled from under me. Seeing a local healer/therapist because I didn’t know how I was going to get work or more business…

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Embracing Shadows: Self-Sabotage as an Unconscious Form of Self-Protection

I’ll start with my heart. This heart of mine has taken a ride on the rollercoaster this past few years, it’s enjoyed the highs of love, the ferocity of the fight, the lows of heartbreak and loss and the closure of being boxed in. And even though I’ve been writing for at least 16 years now, I feel somewhat rusty, somewhat unable to face the written word and sat here…

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Is Your Attachment To Outcome Causing You Pain?

From my book ‘When Everyone Shines But You’ It is easy to get lost in the daily irritations of comparing yourself with others. This constant battle can be incredibly tiresome. In the beginning most of what you understand is all in the intellect, but experiencing something is an entirely different matter. Knowing that life changes, that life moves and changes exactly when it needs to, often doesn’t bring you any…

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Is Physical Pain Protecting You from Life?

It takes courage to acknowledge when something we want to get rid of is the very thing that has been protecting us from perceived harm. Sometimes we have physical challenges in life. These challenges could be knee issues, back pain, chronic fatigue syndrome, the list goes on and on. It takes a brave person to finally accept ‘Hey, I think a part of me wants to be in pain, because…

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