When Commitment Knocks at The Door

snail slow patient

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Hi there, welcome back to Kelly Martin Speaks. I’m your host Kelly Martin and this is episode 81.

This week I have been experiencing some major physical symptoms from an advanced form of chiropractic work. I’ve been having back issues for a long time; I didn’t realise how long until I started to see that the pain had become normal, so I simply manipulated my posture into positions that were comfortable. From soft comfy sofas, to sitting at an angle at the computer, being hunched over and doing anything to sit or stand at ease. However, as my back began to get more painful and numb and my neck and shoulders were causing me problems sleeping, I knew I had to get some help.

So locally I began seeing someone who is an Advanced Biostructural Correction chiropractor. And he drew to my attention, through tests and photos, how curved my spine is and how much my head is forward, putting pressure on me even further. I thought all this began over the past few years, but I now realise it began in childhood. I was always the tallest among my friends and at school and having low self-esteem I tried not to be noticed so I would hunch my shoulders. I didn’t realise over the years how much trauma I have placed on my body doing this. I thought I was standing more upright but was not aware that my body was compensating in different areas, causing more pain.

The ABC technique involves allowing the body to go through its own process of unwinding the trauma. So, I am two appointments in and I realised how easy it would be to stop this process in its tracks. My instant response when I was feeling more pain and aching was, ‘Well if I am not feeling better straight away, then it’s not working’, but I realise this is how I have looked at life in general for a long time. Self-sabotaging what could work early on because I didn’t get instant results back. I lacked commitment and staying power, because I figured I have committed to other things, collaborations, businesses, relationships and in my ego-mind they didn’t work out, so why should I commit?

But I now understand we are encouraged to commit if we ever want the changes we seek.

It’s Not An Overnight Miracle

With my body I can see that 32 years of misuse and increasing posture issues means that to unwind this process so that the body learns to stand on its own, without me needing to exert pressure on it, will take time. It won’t be an overnight miracle. It may be, but generally the body takes time to get used to changes taking place in it.

So, as I click and crack as I move right now, I am reminding myself that this cracking and clicking is my body recalibrating itself into a new way of being and so this speaks on a much wider level, not just for the body.

How many of us feel that if we just do X,Y,Z a few times we should be seeing results quickly? Has our fast-paced society, reliant on technology, quickly finding web pages, easy contact with people worldwide, increased our impatience and inability to commit to a process, to the journey of life?

If something is uncomfortable or painful in the beginning, it can be so easy to give up at the first hurdle. It is like when we have repressed grief and we start to open up and the tears fall, perhaps we feel overwhelmed by the emotion and instead of letting the tears flow we chow down on some sugary substance or distract ourselves through over-working or television. It can be easy to give up and we often forget that our beliefs, our opinions, our conditioning (be it emotional, mental or physical) took time to develop. We trained ourselves in a certain way to behave and react to life’s experiences in a certain way. So, it stands to reason that for the unwinding or unravelling of this conditioning to take place, we need to be patient and really commit to the journey.

Give Yourself A Break


Perhaps in the beginning, instead of trying to force through the changes, we need to take it easy and give ourselves breaks from trying too hard. I know for me, with my back, attempting to sit for even 20 minutes at a time without slumping is impossible right now. So, I am stopping, I lie flat on the floor or I move. I know this is the only way my body can get used to the new positions. I have been trying this for years but did not realise my body could not correct itself because there are no muscle groups behind the spine to pull it back into alignment. So here I was trying to contort my body into positions it was not only not used to but was absolutely unable to make.

So, we need to take it easy, only do what we are able to do, take breaks from the processing, be it mental, emotional or physical processing and have self-compassion.

I think many of us are either all or nothing. And because of this we can get caught in a trap of commitment where we over commit to the task. If it was me, it would be trying to sit straight all day long, instead of allowing myself plenty of not sitting straight or forcing myself into a position my body has not naturally aligned with yet.

If it were an emotional challenge we were working through, we would talk to a therapist or meditate for a while, let the tears fall and then take time away from this activity. We wouldn’t try and force the tears to keep on rolling or stay with our therapist 24/7. Everything in life needs balance and we are part of that too. Try too hard too soon and we scare ourselves off ever completing anything. It is like when someone is not used to exercising and also wants to lose weight. Instead of introducing new foods into the diet gradually, doing a little exercise, they go all in, in the first week, eliminating all of their favourite foods and exercising to the point of exhaustion, not allowing the body, mind or spirit to simply allow these changes in. When we do this, we force change instead of surrendering to its natural unfolding.

And so with that, as I type up this transcript, I click my office chair so I am slumping a little, for a time, knowing I will choose to try out the new positions again soon.

But for now…easy does it.

Thanks for listening to this episode of Kelly Martin Speaks

If you have a question or topic you are struggling with and would like me to answer on an upcoming podcast episode, please get in touch. Your name will be confidential. EMAIL me at kellymartinspeaks@gmail.com or message me on Facebook via my page Kelly Martin Speaks.

And don’t forget, if you feel that others are passing you by and ‘The Not Good Enough’ voice is screaming loudly, pop by kellymartin.uk to find out all about my books, including Book 1 ‘When Everyone Shines but You’

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Until next time…bye for now

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Kelly Martin
Kelly Martin

Kelly Martin, author of ‘When Everyone Shines But You’ is a dedicated writer and blogger who fearlessly explores life’s deepest questions. Faced with a decade of profound anxiety and grief following the loss of her father and her best friend Michael, Kelly embarked on a transformative journey guided by mindfulness, and she hasn’t looked back since. Through her insightful writing, engaging podcasts, and inspiring You Tube channel Kelly empowers others to unearth the hidden treasures within their pain, embracing the profound truth that they are ‘enough’ exactly as they are.

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