Do You Always Expect to Be Disappointed?

Does it feel like your life has been full of unfulfilled hope or expectations?  I know mine has. I think that in many ways we try to cover up disappointments and brush them away or numb them through making more effort, working too hard, using food, drugs or other substances to hide the ache where disappointment lies, but it doesn’t work long term. The biggest problem with disappointment is that…

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I’ve Lost My Faith and Don’t Know How to Expect Better

I’m writing this from personal experience, and I know I’m not the only one who may have lost their faith and trust in life. I know I’m not the only one who feels so disheartened and tired from challenge that I grow more sceptical and less likely to expect the best, but instead resign to the idea that life just doesn’t get any better. This is the core of depression.…

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Who Am I Without Pain and Suffering?

I’m sure I’m not the only one who finds that their life story has felt more an ongoing pain drama than one of joy and peace and light. People will say it is a choice and of course it is, but, and it’s a big BUT, it can feel as if the choice is taken out of our hands sometimes. So, who would we be without our pain and suffering?…

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Why Leaning In To The Pain Is Important

Lying on the couch while chatting with my acupuncturist, we had a conversation about pain, grief, fear and loss. I told him about how when I was finally beginning to face the fear of loss that had been ruling my actions and limiting my life for so long, life gave me the greatest trigger in my best friend getting sick, but he reminded me of something I needed to know.…

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How To Rewrite A Painful Life Script

Like many people, I chose a painful life script. Mine was littered with death, loss, abandonment and perceived failure. Your life script may be one of incredible childhood trauma, relationship difficulties, health issues…it doesn’t matter what form our pain script comes in, it can often feel so great that we have no idea how to unravel ourselves from it or indeed to finally let it go. In my previous blog…

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Are You Attached to Pain and Suffering?

Sitting here on a cloudy Sunday afternoon, I consider my life and why the black dog of depression is visiting me once more. I think most of us who suffer from depression feel, ‘Why is this visiting me again, can I not have a break from this endless pain?’ But what if I told you this is exactly what you need? I’ve spoken before about being addicted to the darkness,…

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Why ‘Manning Up’ Should Include Crying and Vulnerability

“Men can often feel isolated and unable to tell people how they are feeling – a culture of men shouldering pain alone has developed. We need to challenge toxic ideas of masculinity that prevent openness and vulnerability in men. It takes real courage to be open and honest about mental health, but when suicide is the leading cause of death for young men, we all have a responsibility to push…

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How To Remain Calm In The Midst Of Chaos

Have you seen the state of the world right now? If you haven’t, you may have been living in a bubble, which is lovely, but not something we can stay in forever. One look at Twitter (for example), looking at trending topics, you can see how enraged many people are. The news media is of course (as it always does!) fuelling the conflict between people, because many news outlets have…

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Why Is It So Hard To Share My Mental Health Struggle?

Listen above or tune in on Apple Podcasts or Podbean EPISODE 67 – PODCAST TRANSCRIPT Hi there, welcome back to Kelly Martin Speaks, I’m your host Kelly Martin and this is episode 67. Today I’m going to talk all about accepting our mental health issues. A listener who I will call Jackie (this is not their real name), brought a question to me about mental health. Jackie said: Why are…

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Why Social Media Could Be Hurting You

You may have seen articles on how social media can be addictive, but what does this mean in the scheme of an everyday human’s life? Social media when used wisely can be a positive experience. The trouble is that so few of us have a supportive inner voice, so any positives can be outweighed by the negative. Why does social media hurt? Because it can become an avoidance to living,…

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